Chapter Sixteen

“Did you enjoy that?”

Evalan tilted his head back to look up at Leah. “That was the best.” His grin was so broad it threatened to split his face.

She returned his smile. They were both sat astride her mare, Rashan, that she’d gradually slowed from a fast gallop to a walk. Accompanying them was a warrior escort, a few paces behind. “But nothing like riding Varendis?”

He grinned in reply as a small shiver gripped him. “Whenever I remember that, I always feel such a thrill. But won’t you get in trouble? For missing classes?”

“Probably. But I don’t care. It’s too beautiful a day to spend shut up indoors.” Instead of attending her classes, she had decided to go riding in the open spaces south of the city. With the one person, she still felt totally at ease with – Evalan.

Evalan’s slightly scandalised expression melted. “I’m glad you took me along.”

She hugged him. “Couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend time with.”

They rode in silence before Evalan spoke. “Why don’t you come to the palace anymore?”

Taken by surprise, she hesitated before replying. “Busy. There’s a lot to do before we graduate. Why do you ask?”

“I miss you. And I think Father does too. Are you still angry with him?”

“No, no, I’m not–”

“He’s better than he was, Leah. I can talk to him again like I used to. After the time I caught him crying–”

“What?”

“I know you said none of it was my fault, but I couldn’t shut the little voice deep inside me that said otherwise. I thought Father was avoiding me... I thought he hated me because I let myself be caught.”

She slipped her arm around his waist, hugging his small body to her.

“And when I saw him crying, I told him, even though I was scared he’d say it was true. But he said he didn’t hate me and that he didn’t blame me because he was the one to blame. It was his job to protect me... to protect Mother. And he’d failed. Then he said he loved me, and now it feels like everything’s as it was.” He grinned up at her again.

Leah returned his smile even though her heart ached. Nothing’s as it was, my Curly-top... and I don’t think it ever will be again.

Back in the city, Evalan watched as Leah rubbed her horse down, all the while chatting to her about Kurabar and the strange man whose name he seemed to have forgotten. Then they made their way together to their stonewalled home.

The warm earthy tones of the outer walls softened the appearance of the sturdy building although the immense heavily studded doors made it clear that those inside would be well guarded. The guards bowed as they held the doors open for their prince and princess.

To the surprised amusement of those present, Leah chased Evalan through the entrance hall and up the wide stairs. He ran towards the library and study room at the top of the stairs only to find the doors shut. With a panicked squeal, he turned to race down the corridor. Leah chased him past the rooms, which housed the royal couple’s attendants and their families, towards the royal chambers that occupied the length of the wall opposite the stairs.

Evalan burst into the chambers, Leah close behind. He ran up to Maeve, trying to hide behind her skirts.

“Evalan.”

“Hide me, hide me.”

“Don’t cheat.” Leah danced in front of Maeve, trying to grab Evalan. “Oh. Almost had you...”

“Where were you?”

Leah didn’t stop to look at Edmon. She was still trying to grab her brother. “Out. Riding.”

“With Evalan.”

“Yes...”

“What were you thinking?”

Leah and Evalan stopped and stared at their father, both realising in the same moment that he was furious.

“What do you mean?” Leah chanced a quick glance at Maeve, but her attention was on Evalan as she quietly tried to take him to his room; he refused to budge.

“You take him out of the city, in the open, with barely any protection.”

“He was with me, and we had a warrior escort.”

“Eight guards. Not enough. Not after what happened.”

Leah stared at Edmon. “Don’t you trust me to look after Evalan?”

“That’s not the point. Both of you out there, too close to the Grimwood, either one of you could be a target.”

“We didn’t go that far–”

“I wanted to go, Father.”

“Evalan, go to your room.”

“But I–”

“Now.” Edmon waited until his son had gone and Adina had shut the door behind them. “You will not take Evalan out again–”

“I didn’t realise he was a prisoner.”

“Leah.” Maeve placed her hand on Edmon’s arm. “We only want to keep him safe.”

“So do I. I wouldn’t do anything to endanger him.”

“But that is exactly what you did,” said Edmon. “You put him in unnecessary danger today. And for what?”

“I will not be confined. And I will spend time with my brother. I can protect him, regardless of what you may think. Just because you couldn’t keep him safe–” She stopped, stunned by what had just escaped her lips. But powerless to take back the hurtful words that now lay between them.

Maeve gasped, her hands covering her cheeks.

Leah couldn’t take her eyes off her father; he stood before her like someone who’d been dealt a mortal blow. She tried to apologise, but the words wouldn’t come. Hating herself for hurting him, she fled. 

*          *          *          *

“Conor, are you listening?”

He blinked rapidly, before glancing at Veha.

Leaning against him, she stroked his cheek, her fingers brushing the scar left there by Leah.

He gently moved her hand away; she’d already told him, many times, how much she resented Leah for marring his supposedly perfect face. By now, Conor knew that Veha and Leah would never be friends, and it wasn’t simply because he knew the truth of Leah’s feelings for him. Veha had confessed that she believed Leah to be selfish for she couldn’t understand why the princess wanted to be treated the same as everyone else. In her opinion, Leah’s attitude reeked of ungratefulness.

“What’s wrong? Is something bothering you?”

“No, not really. I suppose I’m simply preoccupied with things, with graduation so close.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure everything will be fine. Come now. It seems almost a sin to be so morose on such a glorious day.” She jumped to her feet and danced around in a circle, arms flung out on either side of her. The expert cut of her white and smoky-grey gown displayed her figure perfectly. She wore her golden hair caught up in a bun atop her head with a few curling tendrils framing her flawless face... the way she always wore it when she was with Conor, ever since he’d mentioned that he liked that particular style.

They were in the garden of her father’s house. Alone. But Conor knew they were being watched by at least one person from inside the house. He forced a smile but couldn’t match Veha’s gaiety.

“Come, Conor. Come and dance with me.” She darted towards him and grabbed him by the hands.

“No, Veha, not today.” He remained attached to the seat. “I’m not in the mood–”

“Not in the mood to dance with me?”

“I’m sorry.”

She stamped a slippered foot. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve never been like this towards me.”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Sometimes, Veha, sometimes there are other things... more important things I have to deal with.”

“Are you saying I am not important enough?”

Too late Conor realised what he’d said, and leapt to his feet. “No. No, that’s not it. That’s not what I meant...” He tried to take her by the hand, but she pulled away.

“But that’s what it sounded like. What’s happening with you? You’ve been so hateful lately...” She ran back to the house.

“Veha, wait. Let me explain...” But he remained where he was, making no attempt to follow her. How could he explain his dilemma to her? How could he admit that since Nadeen had told him about Leah, his thoughts had been filled, not with Veha, but with his childhood friend?

I can’t go on like this... I need to do something. “But what?” he whispered. “I must talk to her, whether she wants to or not... I have to.” 

*          *          *          *

Leah sat in class, her gaze fixed on the tutor with no idea what he was talking about. Without needing to look, she could sense abject boredom radiating from the entire class. Sensing unwanted attention, she glanced to her left, to find Conor staring at her. A frown wrinkled her brow; he quickly averted his gaze. She did likewise, to stop herself ‘reading’ him.

Exuding her now familiar remoteness, Leah dawdled as the others left the class. By the time she got to her feet, they’d all gone. Except for Conor who stood hesitantly by the door.

“Leah... we need to talk.”

“About what?”

He glanced out the door.

“What is it, Conor? I have things to do.”

“I know,” he said.

She raised her brows. “What?”

“About you...”

“What about me?”

“Me... I mean about how you feel about me.”

When she finally spoke, her voice was low and without emotion. “What are you talking about?”

“Leah, please don’t deny it.”

She clenched her jaw, not needing magic to know who had been disloyal. “Nadeen. She told you. Why?”

He dropped his gaze. “I think she felt sorry for me.”

“She promised.”

Conor stared, clearly taken aback by her enraged growl. “Don’t be angry with her, Leah. She didn’t want to but–”

“But she did.” Leah moved towards the door.

“Wait. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you? Do you think I’m mad? Give you something else to tease me with?”

“I wouldn’t have done that.”

“Really?” In her highly emotional state, she inadvertently ‘read’ him and ‘saw’ his dilemma; a part of him wanted to be with her. Her cynical stare turned to one of guarded hope. “Why are you telling me this, Conor? What’s the point?”

“I don’t know. I think I wanted you to know that I know... wanted to hear from you why you never said anything.” He stepped towards her. “At least now I know why you’ve been acting like I’ve wronged you. I didn’t know how much I was hurting you. I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Leah closed her eyes, wanting to hide her pain. How easy it would be to use the feelings he already had, to heighten them, make him want her and no one else. But I’m not like that. I’m not a bad person... And there was another to consider. “What about Veha?”

“Leah, I...” He moved closer, raised a trembling hand, which brushed, feather-like, against her cheek.

Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed into his blue eyes. She knew she should back away, make him stop. But she didn’t want him to stop. She wanted him to take her in his arms... to hold her, kiss her...

His hand caressing her cheek, he moved even closer, his lips mere inches from hers.

Tearing her gaze away, Leah jerked back. “You haven’t answered me. What about Veha?”

He made another move towards her, but her warning expression stopped him. “I think–”

“Do you love her?” Her steady voice hid her inner turmoil.

He remained silent for so long that Leah started to harbour hope. Then, he nodded, the movement so slight she almost missed it. “I think so...”

“Then there is no point to this discussion. I have been dealing with my feelings for you for long enough now. Maybe not in the best way, but I can endure your company. And now you have made it clear whom you want to be with.”

“Wait.” He grabbed her by the arm. “I can’t say for certain–”

“I’m not trying to make you choose, Conor.”

“At least give me... give us some time to–”

“To what? Try and make it work? You already have a relationship with Veha. That’s a certainty. Why sacrifice that for something that could well be nothing?”

“It sounds like you’ve already decided this cannot work.”

A sigh escaped her as she rubbed her fingers against her forehead. “Listen, there’s too much happening at the moment–”

“Like what?”

“It’s... I can’t talk about it. Look, our friendship can never be what it was, not after this. But as warriors, we’ll probably have to work together and I’m sure we can put our personal feelings aside in the name of duty. Now, if you’ll excuse me...” She pulled away from him and left the room, her stoic expression veiling the agony of a breaking heart.