Chapter Fifteen

Leah crept out of Evalan’s room and quietly pulled the door to. Her hand still resting on the handle behind her, she studied her father sitting slumped in his large, comfortable chair by the fire. Having practiced diligently, Leah could now use her so-called gift without feeling overwhelmed or succumbing to the pain. As she watched her father, she could ‘see’, yet again, the guilt and shame that surrounded him. She frowned as her mouth puckered in a moue of irritation.

It had been two days since Edmon had left the Sanctuary, twelve days since the royal party returned to Orenheart. Leah had assumed that she’d have returned to the barracks by now. But her father’s remoteness – his reluctance to talk to his family, to engage with his family – had persuaded her to stay, to support Maeve, and also Evalan whom she suspected still blamed himself for their father’s injuries.

“He’s sleeping,” she said, walking towards her father.  “At last. How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you anything before we go down?”

Edmon shook his head, his gaze still fixed on the fire.

Closing her eyes, she battled her desire to scream at him; the obvious impotence he felt made her resent him, and that upset her. Instead, she fussed over her plain, lime-green gown, unadorned except for the forest-green girdle that hung about her slightly rounded hips. Her hands stole to the back of her head, checking her shoulder-length hair that had been caught in a neat ponytail... she fingered the small gold hoops fastened to her ears; the only jewellery she wore.

Maeve stepped out of their bedchamber with two of her ladies in attendance. They dropped a quick curtsy and left to wait outside for Maeve and Leah. “Will I do?” Maeve gave a quick twirl, a too-bright smile fixed to her lips. Her gown of lilac trimmed with pale blue flowers floated dreamlike around her. Embroidered flowers, also pale blue, were sprinkled around the gown in the semblance of a girdle. A gold circlet, speckled with purple and blue stones, caressed her neck while blue teardrop-shaped gems hung from her ears. Her braided hair was coiled high on her head.

Leah glanced at Edmon and her heart leapt: his gaze was drawn towards Maeve. Then without a word he turned back to the fire.

Leah could feel her mother’s crushing disappointment as Maeve squeezed her eyes shut. “You look lovely, Mother,” she said. “Don’t you agree, Father?”

He remained silent.

“Father...” She didn’t want to let this go, didn’t want to back down and let him have his pathetic way. She strode up to him and grabbed his shoulder. “Why won’t you answer?”

“Leah...” Maeve’s tone was pleading for her to leave him be.

“He can’t hide from us, Mother, he can’t pretend we’re not here. You’re the king, Father, and being royalty means abiding by duty. Feeling sorry for yourself is a luxury we can ill afford. You taught me that.”

Then Maeve was by her side, pulling her away. “Enough, Leah. Leave him. He needs time–”

“He’s had time.”

“Why are you being like this?”

Leah stared at her mother. “Like what?”

“So... uncaring.”

She clenched her jaw so hard her teeth ached. Because I’ve been touched by evil, Mother, she replied silently. “I’m simply trying to get Father to... to...” She looked at him, could ‘see’ him cowering before his guilt, a demon too powerful for him to vanquish. “To stand tall and true. I can’t stay here anymore and watch him wallow like this. I’m going back to the barracks. Tell Evalan I’ll come by tomorrow.” Gathering her skirts, she marched out of the room. 

*          *          *          *

A worried frown creasing her brow, Nadeen watched as Leah closed her eyes, and massaged her temples. Leaning closer, she jerked back slightly when Leah glanced at her.

“Are you alright?” whispered Nadeen.

Leah’s attempt to smile failed, but she nodded. “I just need some air.” Getting to her feet, she said, “Master Fredrik, I need to be excused.”

Nadeen’s wide-eyed stare darted from Leah to their master as he straightened up from where he’d been demonstrating with sword and shield; he frowned at Leah’s departing figure.

The rest of the class went by in a blur for Nadeen. She sensed something was bothering Leah but found it difficult to ask her directly for Leah seemed to be going out of her way to keep to herself.

“Is she feeling ill again?”

With the lesson at an end, they were free to talk. Nadeen turned to Karamay. “She said she wanted some air.”

“Is it just me, or do you get the feeling that Leah has... changed?”

They looked at Jessalyn.

“She seems... I don’t know, withdrawn.”

“She is spending a lot of time on her own,” said Karel.

“Maybe she’s still feeling the effects of that strange ailment,” said Karamay. “That and the worry she must feel for the king.”

They started to move towards the exit of the compound.

“Where’s Leah? Didn’t she return?” Sover glanced around as he joined them.

Nadeen shook her head.

Artur put his arm around her. “Don’t look so worried, love.”

“But I am.” Nadeen stopped walking. “You are right, Jess, she has changed. And I have been so caught up with spending time with you, Artur...” She blushed slightly at the confession. “I have not been much of a friend to her lately. She used to speak to me readily of anything that was troubling her but now...”

“Well, she and I have been friends the longest,” said Conor. “Now she treats me with cold indifference. I went to visit her in the Sanctuary...” His words were greeted with surprise for he hadn’t told them of that visit. “Apologised for whatever hurt I may have caused her, for all the teasing. She told me to leave. Ordered me out.”

Karamay patted his arm.

“What do we do?”

Karel shrugged at his sister’s question. “What can we do? We carry on as normal. Be her friends...”

“That’s what I told her,” said Conor. “Whatever she may feel for me, I still see her as a friend, and I’ll be there for her if ever she needs me.”

They stood in silence for a few moments before each drifted away.

“Conor, wait.” Nadeen fell in step beside him. “I need to speak with you.”

He stopped, brows raised.

“Not here. Let us go back into the compound.”

Glancing around, he followed her. The cavernous building was empty. She led him past a handful of pillars before she finally stopped. “What is it, Nadeen? You’re being very mysterious.”

Instead of replying, she bit her lip, and averted her gaze, all the while wringing her hands.

“What’s wrong? You said you had to talk–”

“This is difficult for me, Conor. I promised not to say...” She fell silent.

“Say what?”

“But I cannot bear to see you so hurt. I think you need to know, maybe then you will understand–”

“Nadeen, please tell me if you’re going to tell me.”

Breathing heavily, she looked away, her mouth turned down. “Leah... she likes you, Conor. She is attracted to you, she told me so.” The words came out in a rush.

Puzzlement drained from his face, leaving it blank. Impassive. “What?”

“Oh, please do not make me say it again.” She clasped her hands together. “And please do not say anything to Leah.”

“But... When did she...?”

“Some time now. Before you met Veha.”

“She never said. Why didn’t she say?”

Nadeen eyed him. “She did not dare. She was afraid you would see it as a joke and tease her.”

With a groan, he lowered himself to the raised rim bordering the training area. “I wouldn’t have. Not about something like that.”

“What else was she to think, Conor? You tease her about everything else. And then you met Veha.”

Conor cringed, thinking back on how he had bragged about Veha relentlessly; how uninterested Leah had always been. Her unfriendly attitude when he had introduced her to Veha that day in the bazar... her reluctance to spend time getting to know Veha. And what had he done? He had accused Leah of being jealous. How close to the truth he had been. He’d inadvertently made things that much worse between them.

Then he remembered the visit at the Sanctuary; her expression when their eyes had met... was it... desire? His heart skipped a beat.

“What are you going to do?”

He stared at Nadeen. “I don’t know...”

“Please, Conor, do not say anything.”

He shook his head as he got to his feet. “I cannot promise that, Nadeen. I can’t pretend that I don’t know.”

“But if you tell her, Leah will know I have betrayed her confidence. She may never speak to me again.”

“I’m sorry, Nadeen... I’m sorry.”