Chapter Twenty-Five

Lamorna and her brother had spent the night in Eva’s home where the woman had made up a bed for the girl on the floor. Having already slept on the forest floor many times, Lamorna had found it comfortable enough. As she sat up, she realised that, yet again, she’d slept through the night, and guessed that Eva must have seen to the baby each time he’d woken for a feed. Sitting down to breakfast as she finished tying back her dark hair, she thanked the woman who merely nodded smilingly.

As she chewed on a piece of bread, Lamorna wondered why Eva had yet to say a word to either of them. Did she choose not to speak or had she been robbed of the ability? After breakfast, Eva half-heartedly handed the baby back to Lamorna. As she stepped out of her home, Lamorna quickly followed her. She watched as the woman disappeared around the priests’ dwelling. As thoughts of leaving crept into her mind, Sewell appeared.

“How are you this morning?”

“We are well, thank you, Master Sewell. Mistress Eva has looked after us well.”

He peered at the infant. “He seems well fed. No fuss about not having the wolf then?”

Throwing a panicked glance in the direction of Merrick’s dwelling, she quickly shook her head before telling him about Eva weeping the day before, when she first held the baby.

“She is not from this village. Travellers brought her.”

“Why did they leave her here?”

“She wasn’t one of them. They’d gone past her village where a woman had begged them to take Eva for her own safety. She’d been badly beaten even though she was with child. They took her, tended her hurts, but the baby could not be saved.”

“How... terrible,” said Lamorna. “But who would have done such a thing?” Secretly she suspected soldiers.

“Her husband.”

“What? But why?”

Sewell shrugged. “Eva cannot speak. All that village woman told the travellers was that Eva’s husband had always treated her badly but as she got larger with child, the beatings got worse.”

Lamorna struggled to grasp this unknown concept. The only couples she’d known – her parents, Aherin and Lulie, the other husbands and wives in her home village – they only ever treated one another with love and respect. “I don’t understand.”

“No, child, not many do. Eva is a gentle, caring soul who will happily do for others. Why anyone would seek to cause harm like that.” He sighed heavily as he shrugged again.

“She lives here now?”

He nodded. “The travellers didn’t want to keep her. This small hut was used for visiting priests, but Merrick let her have it.”

Lamorna ducked her head. “I feel so... ashamed.”

“Why?”

“When I first saw Mistress Eva, all I could think was how ugly...” Her voice faded, unable to say anymore.

“But now you know otherwise.”

Lamorna nodded even though she did not feel any better. And she also felt guilty at the thought of running away, knowing now what joy the baby brought to Eva. “Master Sewell, have you seen my wolf?”

He shook his head. “She has most likely left the area now and returned to her kind.”

Lamorna bent her head over her brother, but failed to hide her tears.

“Come now, child.” Hesitantly, he put his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to console her.

“I will never see her again. I cannot bear it. Everyone leaves.” Her shoulders shook with her weeping.

“The wolf is a creature of the wild, she belongs to no one. You understand that, don’t you? None of us, not you, nor the baby’s needs, can dictate her comings and goings.”

Instead of comforting her, his words added to her sorrow for they reminded her of Vanora and how much she missed the woman.

Then he leaned close and whispered in her ear, “Only the White Lady can do that.”

Lamorna jerked away with a cry, clutching her brother close against her. Gasping for air, her eyes bulging, she backed away before turning to flee.

He grabbed her by the arm, stopping her; Lamorna begged him to let her go. “You are safe here, you will come to no harm. Please, allow me to explain.” By now Sewell was holding her firmly with both hands. “Did I not swear on this little one’s head that you will come to no harm? That I will keep you from harm? Do you think I took that oath lightly?”

Trembling, she shook her head.

He led her back inside Eva’s home where she sat on the bed, and he pulled up the stool. “Will you listen to me now?”

She nodded once then wiped her face on her sleeve, but her heart still thudded painfully.

“No one speaks openly of her, but I have heard enough to know that she is dear to this village. She is worshipped but not in full view, and Merrick is happy enough with that. The way prayers and worship are done here alienates no one. People are free to choose. Some stay with the old ways; others are drawn to the new god. Seeing how you were with the wolf, I assumed you worship the White Lady.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “But I do not understand. All I’ve ever been told–”

“Where you come from, is it a large village?”

She shrugged. “It is larger than this place. There is a castle on the hill with the temple next to it. The priests live alongside the castle lords.”

Sewell nodded slowly. “Maybe, being so close to riches and power has made them intolerant. It could be that they are driven more by power and the need to control others than a desire to do the lord’s work and help the people.”

His words took Lamorna back to the night she’d spent at Vanora’s cottage, when the woman had explained that not all priests hated them.

The child yawned, made as if to cry then yawned again. Sewell reached over and stroked the soft cheek. Automatically the baby turned hopefully in his direction, mouth agape; the man chuckled softly. His brows drawing together, he looked at Lamorna. “Did the priests threaten you? Is that why you seem fearful of Merrick? Are they the ones who wanted to separate you and your brother?”

Lamorna averted her gaze, still too wary to reveal the whole truth.

“The baby, he is so small.” Sewell spoke as if truly seeing him for the first time. “Your mother... how did she die?”

Biting her lip, she shook her head.

“Did she die in childbirth?”

She stared at him, black eyes wide, shimmering with tears. “They dragged her away, they said she died in sin she will never be forgiven. The soldiers took her took my Papa...” Tears choking her voice, she could not continue.

Sewell gently took the infant and, moving to sit beside her, put his arm around her and held her against him. She turned her face to his chest, crumpling his shirt in her clenched fists. Still the vision of Logan being dragged away with Reena remained vivid in her mind.

She pulled away from him, her face wet with tears. “You must not tell Merrick. They will take my baby away; they say he was born in sin and needs to be cleansed–”

“Merrick is not like that. You must not fear–”

“No! All priests think the same. They say only they can clean him of sin.”

Again, Sewell tried to assure her that she need not fear Merrick or Wystan, but she refused to hear him; he had no choice but to promise that he would keep her secret.

They sat together in silence after that, Sewell still holding the child, Lamorna twisting her skirt in her hands, fighting to take deep breaths.

“How old are you?”

“This is my fourteenth summer.”

“My daughter, she was two years older than you when she died.” He stared at the ground as he spoke. “She died first; I do not know if that weakened my wife even more. I was not there, you see. I was not with them when the sickness took them.” He fell silent, obviously lost in his memories.

Lamorna’s heart went out to him. He seemed so strong, yet he too had lost all he held dear. She wondered if he’d been away soldiering when they’d died but did not dare intrude with such a careless question. And though she was nothing to him, yet he seemed to care what happened to her and her brother. Hesitantly, she laid her hand on his. “Lamorna,” she said.

He slowly turned to her.

“My name is Lamorna.”

Nodding slowly, he turned his hand over to hold hers, enclosing it completely.

“When does it stop?”

He frowned.

“The pain. When does it go away?”

He sighed and shook his head. “It never does. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but it remains with you, always.”

“Sometimes... I feel like I cannot breathe, the pain is so tight around my heart.” She pressed her hand against her chest.

“It does get easier to bear, Lamorna. As time passes, so does the pain ease but it will never completely release you.”