Once upon a time, I had a teetering pile of books waiting to be read, a pile I kept adding to.

Why?

Because I knew – or thought I knew – one day, I’d have all the time in the world to do nothing but read.

Well, a reality check is way past due.

Will there ever come a time when I will have nothing to do but read?

I seriously doubt that; here I am, at 59, in the unexpected situation of having to return to work, which means I have even less time than I did at the start of this year.

As an aside, despite not relishing the thought of working at a time when I honestly thought I wouldn’t have to anymore, I am very grateful to have found a job with a lovely bunch of people, and I am actually looking forward to starting.

In a previous post, I mentioned my plan of reading books I’ve bought but haven’t read yet, and to re-read some I haven’t read for years, which I remember enjoying.

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So far, apart from one, the new books have been disappointing.

As for the ‘old’ books, I have to admit it’s a bit of shock to realise I no longer feel the same about some of them.

Some of those books, regardless of genre, no longer interest me.

I don’t know why, and I know it sounds silly, but I find that a hard thing to say, even to myself - books I once thought of as my favourites no longer interest me.

Another hard thing to admit is, days can go by without me picking up a book, and that doesn’t really bother me.

Yet, not that long ago, I had to have a book close by even if I only read a couple of pages on a given day.

I do look at newer titles, check out book reviews, all that kind of thing, in the hopes of finding something that might interest me, again, regardless of genre.

But, for the most part, they all seem same-y and predictable, cookie-cutter stories, and I want something that challenges me.

Or something that allows me to lose myself in the language and beautifully constructed sentences.

Which is why I enjoyed all my reading last year as Tolkien does not disappoint on both those points.

As a writer, this sudden lack of interest in reading is a little worrying as we’re constantly told to read, read, read.

Going back to what I said about finding newer titles predictable, I think it’s because writers are expected to publish predictable stories that, according to market research, people want to read, and writers need to write for the market.

But doesn’t that negate writing as an art form?

Surely art is all about the artist’s expression, and to quote Richard Dreyfuss, “… no one should be telling me as an artist that I have to give in to the latest most current idea of what morality is.”

As Mr Dreyfuss also said in that interview clip, art is commerce, and it’s expected to make money, but how far can you go in telling an artist what they should or shouldn’t create?

As a reader, I can’t help but wonder what kind of books I’d find on bookshelves if writers felt 100% free to write the stories they honestly, truly want to write.

Back to my ‘dilemma’, I think instead of overanalysing my reading, or lack thereof, I’ll simply take it as it comes.

If I go some weeks without reading, so be it.

It’s just occurred to me that I’m probably putting pressure on myself to read so I have regular ‘book review’ posts.

And I don’t have one ready to go for this week.

Actually, I did but can’t find the energy to finish writing the review as the book wasn’t just a disappointment, it also annoyed me.

The review would have been for a non-fiction book, ‘The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper’ by Hallie Rubenhold.

I thought I’d be learning a lot more about the women, but what Rubenhold includes can easily be found on dedicated sites like ‘The Jack the Ripper Casebook’.

Also, with the distinct lack of hard facts, this could easily have been historical fiction.

There are lots of phrases like, ‘would have’, ‘may have’, ‘probably’, ‘little is known’, ‘it is impossible to say’, ‘a possible explanation’ and many more.

The one big takeaway Rubenhold really wants the reader to come away with is, not all the women were prostitutes, though she doesn’t provide any conclusive facts to prove her case.

Back to the topic at hand…

If I’m not going to be regularly reviewing books, I suppose I’ll have to rethink what I do blog about, apart from ‘History’.

I also better mention, as I’m starting a new job, blog posts might be a tad sporadic for the next little while as I settle in and work out new my home routine.

Possibly The Hardest Thing For An Avid Reader To Admit