Being Alone

(Image by silviarita on Pixabay)

Is ‘being alone’ the same as ‘being lonely’?

I don’t think so, yet some people – mainly extroverts, I think, though I could be wrong – seem to conflate the two.

I’ve always enjoyed being on my own. Even as a child, I never had any trouble keeping myself amused.

Unlike me, my third sister who’s two years older, and closest in age to me, loves company and I know she found that side of me a little annoying.

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed our playtimes together, just the two of us and also whenever our cousins came to visit, which was equally fun.

But once she went to the UK for further education, enjoying my own company definitely served me well.

I guess I should clarify, I’m Malaysian, and we grew up in Malaysia, though now, coincidentally, we both live here in the UK; our two older sisters both still live in Malaysia.

I was always ‘the quiet one’, the one who preferred to stay in the background.

Even now, at almost 60, I hate having any attention on me. I find it skin-crawlingly uncomfortable.

And I’m terribly shy; I really have to psych myself up to talk to people.

One thing I find funny, just because I’m quiet and shy, people think I’m a pushover – which I can be – and they’re usually surprised when they realise how stubborn I am.

Faced with something I really don’t want to do or don’t agree with, I tend to go quiet and dig my heels in.

One thing I still struggle with is ‘small talk’.

Obviously, I can do it, but I still don’t find it easy.

What doesn’t help is saying odd things and recognising the oddity too late because I’ve already said it!

Me, on too many occasions to count

I find people like my sister amazing; she seems so at ease with whoever she chats with, even a total stranger in a queue with her.

One of my friends is like that… She’s been known to pop into a shop to pick up some groceries, strike up a conversation with a stranger and by the time they part company, they’ve found something in common and arranged a day and time to meet for a coffee! All in the space of half an hour!

How do people do that? It’s a complete mystery to me.

What I really enjoy is deep conversations, preferably with one other person, face-to-face, not via text or messages or even phone calls.

That way you can really get into the meat of whatever you’re discussing.

And I also enjoy being alone.

I have no trouble going to the cinema or to a restaurant on my own, and I’ve done both countless times.

(Image by StockSnap on Pixabay)

I enjoy travelling solo, which I’ve done.

So long as I have a good book for company, I’m happy.

And, yes, I’ve been known to hide behind a book while secretly hoping no one’s going to engage me in conversation.

What I look like on the inside while smiling politely on the outside!

Even though it probably doesn’t sound like it, I will add that I do enjoy getting to know people.

On that note, over to you…

Do you enjoy being alone?

If you do, and you don’t mind sharing, what are your favourite solo activities?

And if you prefer to be surrounded by others, are there moments you relish having a little time to yourself?