Chapter Nineteen

The senior recruits stood to attention, waiting for their king to present them with their silver warrior insignias: a pair of crossed swords over a circle. The graduation ceremony had always been simple, attended only by the graduates’ families and the commanders, Edmon being there in his capacity as First Commander.

This was the first such ceremony Edmon was performing since he’d lost his arm. It used to be that he would pin the insignias on each graduate before handing them their plumed helmets. But now it was Berkhos who pinned the insignia before stepping back for Edmon to present the helmet.

Sandwiched between Jessalyn and Conor, Leah struggled with her feelings. She had looked forward to this day, the culmination of the past four years, since before she’d become a recruit. Yet now it was here, she wanted to be somewhere else, instead of having to face her father. Many times Leah had wanted to make things right again, to apologise for the hateful things she’d said to him, but didn’t know how. He would speak to her, but her guilt still stood between them, and with each passing day, it became more difficult.

And then there was Conor… Leah kept pressing against Jess in an effort not to make any contact with him. The thought that she may have somehow manipulated him made her feel dirty, wicked. And now it was he who avoided her.

Berkhos stood before her, she heard her name being said, and she forced herself to raise her head as he pinned the insignia to her tunic. Then Edmon stepped into her field of vision. And when she saw the pain and hope in his dark eyes she had to avert her gaze as her shaking hands took the helmet from him.

Leah wished for the ceremony to be over, but there was one more element: the temple blessing. So they trooped to the temple, the king and his commanders followed by the recruits then the families, except Maeve and Evalan who walked with Edmon.

The squat structure, with its ample pillars, stood open, showing darkly its cool interior. Yet even from the outside one could make out the glow of myriad naked flames in open lamps hanging from the ceiling. Above the entrance, on the outside, was an immense carving of a trident, the symbol of the father of the gods, Patriarchus, embedded in a mound of earth, which represented his consort, Terrenia. From the middle of the flat roof, a twisting pinnacle spiralled heavenwards.

Climbing the wide, shallow steps Leah hoped to find some semblance of peace. She felt a momentary calm as she stepped in. The families lined the walls on either side, as the recruits stood in single file waiting their turn. Very aware of Conor behind her, Leah tried to concentrate as Jess made her way to the stone slabs arranged in a loose semi-circle against the wall directly opposite the entrance. Each slab was embedded with a divine symbol, representing a god or goddess.

Jess knelt before the stones and bowed her head. The High Priest, swathed in white cloth from the waist down, his naked chest festooned with a wide gold chain, intoned solemn words of prayer. When he finished, another priest sprinkled Jess with water taken from a small urn.

Then it was Leah’s turn.  She glanced at Jess and returned her quick smile, gradually becoming aware of shocked gasps rippling up from behind her. Unable to quell her curiosity, Leah turned. And stared. All the flames had somehow been extinguished. Yet the air remained still. Then the stone slabs began to shake, slowly at first gradually increasing in ferocity. With an anguished cry, the High Priest fell to his knees, swiftly followed by his brothers, as they clasped their hands together and wailed prayers.

Leah remained frozen as the reluctant thought crept into her mind: Am I causing this? “No, no...” she muttered. The serpent tattoos on her arms began to itch and burn. “It can’t be, please, no...” But she knew; the gods did not want her, one touched by evil, in their place of worship. Overwhelmed by the clear rejection, she fled. 

*          *          *          *

“Leah. There you are. We’ve been looking all over for you. What’s wrong? What happened?” Evalan’s elation at finding his sister in his room was swiftly overtaken by anxiety. She was sitting on the floor on the other side of his bed with her head down, resting on her drawn-up knees, weeping uncontrollably. He rushed to her side, falling to his knees. “Oh, don’t cry. We’re all so worried... Let me get Mother.”

“No.” She grabbed his arm. “No, give me a moment. I’ll be alright.” But the tears showed no signs of ebbing. “I’m sorry, Evalan, I didn’t mean... I didn’t realise I was here. In your room.”

“I don’t mind. But tell me what’s wrong. I want to help.”

She tried to laugh but barked a sob instead, and shook her head. “No one can help. No one, not even the gods want to help...”

He frowned. “Leah, stop crying. Please...”

She fought to bring her tears under control as she wiped her face on her sleeve. But still her lower lip trembled. She tried to smile but grimaced instead. He stared at her, unshed tears shining in his wide, blue eyes. Reaching out, she stroked his cheek with an unsteady hand. “There’s something about me, Evalan. I don’t want to tell. I know I should, but I can’t.”

“Why?”

She dropped her gaze. “I’m scared...”

“Can you tell me?”

She shook her head vehemently, her dark hair unhooking from behind her ears to fall against her cheeks. “I dare not. I’m scared. Scared you might hate me, be frightened of me...”

He stared at her then laughed. “What a silly thing to say. I would never hate you. I love you so much.”

She closed her eyes against his trusting innocence. What would he think of her if he knew? She couldn’t bear the thought of him being frightened of her. Her shoulders drooped, for she knew he would most probably find out sooner or later. And it would probably be better if he heard from her.

“What happened at Temple... the flames and stones, that was me. I made that happen.” She kept her gaze fixed firmly on her lap so she wouldn’t have to see his love for her turn to something else.

“But... why do you think you made that happen?”

“It was me, Evalan, I know it was. I have something... it was given to me even though I didn’t want it. I’ve managed to keep it a secret. But now I have to tell because everyone saw and... and...” She shook her head in a vain attempt to stop the tears.

“Leah... I don’t understand. What secret?”

“Magic,” she finally whispered.

He remained silent for so long she was forced to raise her eyes, to find him staring blankly at her. “Magic? But no one’s allowed...” His eyes widened as the full meaning of the word hit him. “Real magic?”

She nodded.

He sat back, eyes wide. “You have... magic?” A high-pitched, excited laugh escaped him. “But that’s wonderful.”

“No.” She regretted her harsh shout as he flinched. “No, Evalan, it’s anything but that. It’s a... a curse,” she finished softly.

“You said it was given...” He was starting to sound anxious. “Who gave it to you?”

She didn’t answer.

“Who was it, Leah?”

She shook her head. “I can’t tell you. I’m afraid to tell you.”

“Is it so bad?”

All she could do was nod as she gazed tearfully at her scared brother.

Hearing their parents’ voices in the outer chamber, Evalan struggled to his feet and ran out of his room.

The pain in her heart was so unbearable she had to press her hand to her breast for she realised now she could no longer put off the inevitable. She stood in the doorway, watching Evalan in Maeve’s embrace.

“Leah. We’ve been looking everywhere for you. And you’ve been here all along. Are you alright?” Clearly confused, she turned her attention back to her son, trying to make him look at her. “What’s wrong, darling? Why are you so upset?”

But Evalan continued to cling to his mother, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

“Why did you run from Temple?” Edmon sounded confused.

“What happened after I left?” Her voice was devoid of emotion, for she already suspected the answer.

Edmon glanced at his wife before replying. “The flames re-ignited, the stones were still…” He stopped, obviously at a loss for words.

“That was because of me. The gods were making their... displeasure known.”

“What–?”

“Please, Mother, let me finish. Let me tell you everything once and for all. Before I lose my nerve. I’ve been keeping something secret from you since you returned from Kurabar.”

“That was over a month ago,” said Edmon.

She nodded before slowly, haltingly revealing all that had happened to her, all but the identity of the being that had bestowed magic on her.

The silence that wrapped itself around the royal family dragged on for so long that Leah thought she would go mad. Until Edmon finally spoke.

“You have... magic to deal with a half-immortal who also has magic... yes?”

She nodded.

“But the being who gave it to you... why can’t he fight his own battle?”

“Not allowed to.”

“But why you?”

She shrugged, unable to admit that she knew why she’d been chosen. If only she hadn’t wished every waking moment to be different from everybody else.

“You haven’t said who this being is.”

“It’s not important–”

“It’s something bad,” said Evalan in a small voice. “You said it’s bad. Why did you take it if it’s bad?”

“I didn’t want to. I didn’t have a choice.”

“Who was it, Leah?” asked Edmon.

She shook her head. “You don’t need to know.”

“I want to.” Edmon moved closer to her. “Tell me.”

She mumbled, unconsciously taking a step back.

“Who?”

“Belosh. It was Belosh who gave it to me.”

“What?” Maeve pulled back, taking Evalan with her. “But that’s... that’s–”

“The... Belosh?” whispered Edmon, his breath catching.

Leah nodded as she forced herself to steal a glance at Maeve. Tears shone in her mother’s wide-open eyes as she shook her head.

“He’s... he came... here?” Evalan’s voice shook.

Leah hugged herself, wanting to shield her brother from this frightening truth, to return him to blissful ignorance. Yes, they all believed in gods and demons, but they belonged in another realm, not here, in their mortal world.

“Your gift... your powers, you took them from a... demon lord?”

“I didn’t take them, Father. He gave them to me. He decided. Not me. I didn’t want it, I told him I didn’t want it but...” She stopped, unable to bring herself to tell them of the danger they were in if she disobeyed.

“Oh, Leah, no,” said Maeve. “There must be some mistake.”

Her expression slack, she pulled up the loose sleeve of her tunic and turned her arm to expose the side that usually lay protected against her body.

It took them a while to comprehend the small, red marks, to make out the entwined serpents, the unmistakable sign of the Cardinal Demon Lord. Maeve cried out and held her son tight against her as she staggered back against Edmon, who wrapped his one good arm around them.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she whispered. “I’m still your daughter. Please don’t abandon me like the gods have. Please...” She fell to her knees, sobbing.

Maeve and Edmon could only stare at their daughter, seemingly unable to move, to offer her any comfort.

Leah heard her mother call to Evalan before she felt a hand on her head. She flinched before raising her tear-stained face; Evalan stood in front of her, his arms held out to embrace her. But she hesitated, shaking her head.

“I’m scared, Leah, scared that demons can come here... scared that he touched you. But you’re my sister.”

With a sob, she pulled him close.

He wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. “And I love you.”